Humor must have some truth to it or it cannot be funny. We all know people who are innately funny. We also know people who do funny things. Rarely, are they the same person.
For humor to be truly funny, it requires a story that is really hilarious. The exception is a story delivered with impeccable timing and appropriateness.
Before attempting comedy when there is a crowd or an audience present, I recommend studying the delivery of several comedians. Learn their timing and their pauses. If they are good, they have mastered it. You can even steal their jokes as they have been tested and proven to be funny.
Good humor does not need to be explained. It is obvious. Not only should a joke not be explained (unless we "don't get it"), it should not be dissected. If a joke is dissected - it dies.
Priceless humor is a social event. It is fine to laugh at something when you are alone. In fact, I believe that is a healthy event. But, the really funny stuff requires another person to be present because the smiling and laughter are human interactive traits.
These jokes have been around awhile in one form or another.
Q: What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes?
Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's
A: Data transfer.
Q: What goes: vroooom-schreech, vrooom-schreech, vroooom-schreech?
A: A blonde at a flashing red light
Q: What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck
A: Hey y'all.. Watch this!
Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an "F" in sex.
Q: How can you tell a blonde has used your computer?
A: There is white out on the screen.
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.
Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.
Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stayed up all night to
see where the sun went?
A: It finally dawned on her!
Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A blonde was speeding in a 25 mile per hour residental zone when a local police cruiser pulled her over.
The female police officer who walked up to the car also happened to be a blonde.
The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?”
Irritated, the blonde cop said, "Don't be a smartass!, it's got your picture on it!"
The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license", then handed it to the blonde policewoman.
The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.
A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is!"
My stupid computer keeps saying, "You’ve got mail!"
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For best results, put on two coats".
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde: "I can't seem to get this door unlocked”!
Second Blonde: “Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!”
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