It Helps To Be Naturally Charismatic!

It requires a certain talent to use public speaking jokes. Just like any humor – whether it is religious, child, or senior citizen jokes, it requires “timing” and appropriateness.

As a former public speaker, I believe the number one rule is to be yourself. Of course, that requires that you know yourself.

If you are naturally charismatic, you have a big plus over the rest of us. Being funny without much effort or being a riveting speaker, will give you that advantage. You will not need to struggle.

Comedy is very hard to do. Before you attempt it, study the delivery of several comedians. Learn their “timing” and their “pauses”. If they are good, they have mastered it. You can even steal their jokes as they have tested them.

My favorite public speaker was Zig Zigler. With a classic Southern drawl, he mastered the “pause”. I don’t think he was “a natural” public speaker. I believe he did 3 things over and over again – Practice, Practice, Practice. I don’t remember him being particularly humorous. However, I do remember that he always had a profound message.

Another way to improve your skills as a speaker is to observe poor speakers. There are plenty of those. They do so many things wrong that it is sometimes difficult to enumerate all of their mistakes. But, I will try:

  • Use humor inappropriately
  • Try to be funny
  • Don’t know their audience
  • Tell jokes instead of stories
  • Promote themselves
  • Create a divide between themselves and the audience
  • Don’t know their topic

Jokes Or No Jokes!

There are two schools of thought regarding this. One school says never tell jokes until you gain your audience’s trust.

The other says an appropriate opening joke gets you and the audience on the same level. So, do it!

I believe both are correct. But, I would choose a safer route. If the goal is to identify with the audience, use a line that is slightly self-deprecating. For example, “I’ll be brief – no matter how long it takes.”

The following stories and jokes are not new. They have all been around for years. Many are known to have a slightly different version.

The Speech Begins!

“After that wonderful introduction, I can hardly wait to hear what I’m going to say.” (or) “I will try to leave, before you leave me.” (or) “That was a wonderful introduction – perhaps I should leave before I ruin it.”

A really good speech will have a good opener and an inspirational conclusion. Do your best to make everything in between enjoyable and memorable.

It is important to tell stories. It is okay if the stories are about you.

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin.

But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it, put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note.

Reaching deep into his pocket the preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from." With that introduction the preacher ripped out the note and opened it.

The note said: HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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Q. Two children are born on the same day from the same mother but they are not twins. How is that possible?

A. They are triplets!

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Q. Johnny ‘s mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child ‘s name?

A. Johnny – of course.

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Q. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?

A. Incorrectly.

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Q. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?

A. You would be in 2nd. You passed the person in second place, not first.

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Mark woke up suddenly, sweating all over. ”What’s the problem”, asked his wife.

”Are you OK?” “I just dreamed that I died!” responded a shaken Mark.

”And it was so bad up there, and that’s why you’re sweating all over?” asked his wife.

”You bet!” exclaimed Mark.

”I got up there, and was right in front of God himself, when he suddenly sneezed…..and I didn’t know what to say to him! Whoa was that traumatic!”

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A man died and went to The Final Judgment, they told him , “Before you meet with God, I should tell you — we’ve looked over your life, and to be honest you really didn’t do anything particularly good or bad. We’re not really sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything you did that can help us make a decision?”

The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and replied, “Yeah, once I was driving along and came upon a person who was being harassed by a group of thugs. So I pulled over, got out a bat, and went up to the leader of the thugs. He was a big, muscular guy with a ring pierced through his lip. Well, I tore the ring out of his lip, and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering this guy or they would have to deal with me!”

“Wow that’s impressive, When did this happen?”

“About three minutes ago,” came the reply.

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A woman told her husband she wanted something for her birthday that went from zero to 100 in 3 seconds. He bought her a bathroom scale.

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A man named Harry called his son. “Marty, I have news to tell you, I know it’s going to upset you but I have made up my mind and there is nothing you can do about it. I have decided to divorce your mother.”

“But dad how can that be “the son asked “you have been married for 40 years, and you always seemed to get along? What happened?”

“Son, I have made up my mind, and I don’t want you to try to talk me out of it.”

“OK” the son responded, “but promise me you won’t do anything until I come and talk to you in person, and I am going to ask all of my brothers to fly in also.”

”Alright” said the father hanging up “you have my word.”

“Well” said Harry, turning to his wife “I got them all to come in and I didn’t  have to pay for the tickets.”


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