These Are Hilarious!

Redneck Jokes are classics – as are religious, child, and senior citizen humor.

Humor must have some truth to it or it cannot be funny. We all know people who are innately funny. We also know people who do funny things. Rarely, are they the same person.

For humor to be truly funny, it requires a story that is really hilarious. The exception is a story delivered with impeccable timing and appropriateness.

Before attempting comedy when there is a crowd or an audience present, I recommend studying the delivery of several comedians. Learn their timing and their pauses. If they are good, they have mastered it. You can even steal their jokes as they have been tested and proven to be funny.

Good humor does not need to be explained. It is obvious. Not only should a joke not be explained (unless we "don't get it"), it should not be dissected. If a joke is dissected - it dies.

Priceless humor is a social event. It is fine to laugh at something when you are alone. In fact, I believe that is a healthy event. But, the really funny stuff requires another person to be present because the smiling and laughter are human interactive traits.

Redneck Jokes!

The governor's mansion in Alabama burned down!
Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.
The library was a total loss, too.
Both books -- poof! -- up in flames
and he hadn't even finished coloring one of them.

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How can you tell if a Louisiana redneck is married?
There's dried tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck.

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Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age
in Oklahoma to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

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A guy from Alabama passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.

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How do you know when you're staying in a Arkansas hotel?
When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink,"
and the clerk replies, "Go ahead."

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What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Alabama?
Documentaries.

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Did you hear about the $3 million Arkansas State Lottery?
The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.

You May Be a Redneck If …

  • Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Drive-in Theater.
  • You've ever hit a deer with your car...deliberately.
  • Your mother has "ammo"on her Christmas list.
  • You've ever financed a tattoo.
  • You ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle.
  • You have a rag for a gas cap.
  • You think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
  • You have ever barbecued Spam on the grill.
  • Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
  • You mow the front yard and find a car.
  • Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
  • You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.
  • You've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.
  • Your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those “Yosemite Sam mud flaps”. 
  • Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people".
  • You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
  • You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
  • You have an Elvis Jello mold.
  • Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart cause there is a law against it.
  • You dated your daddy's current wife in high school.
  • You have spent more money on your pickup truck than on your education.
  • Your parakeet knows the phrase "Open up, Police!".
  • You grow flowers in an old commode in your front yard.
  • You've ever used a weed eater indoors.
  • You look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet “Ms. Right”.
  • You fish in your above-ground pool!
  • You come home from the garbage dump with more than you went with.

Last One!

Back in the woods, a redneck's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing." Soon a baby boy was brought into the world.

"Whoa there," said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down... I think there's Yet another one to come."
Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl.

"No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern... It seems there's yet another one in there!" cried the doctor.

The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor,
"Do you think it's the light that's attractin' 'em?"


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