The Best of the Best Retirement Quotes!

Retirement party quotes will provide humor that can be used in a speech or toast.  One of the quotes may even provide a theme or banner for your party. 

Quotes by famous people are listed below.  There are also quotes from people whose name you will not recognize.  These quotes are the best I could find that I have not already listed on Retirement Quotes.


"True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country."   KURT  VONNEGUT

"Choose a work that you love and you won't have to work another day."   CONFUCIUS

"God's retirement plan is out of this world."   UNKNOWN

"The great secret that all old people share is that you really haven't changed in seventy or eighty years.  Your body changes, but you don't change at all.  And that, of course, causes great confusion."   DORIS  LESSING

"Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty.  Anyone who keeps learning stays young.  The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young."   HENRY  FORD

"Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control or your estate."   WOODY  ALLEN

"Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time."   J.  LUBBOCK 

"The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender."   VINCE  LOMBARDI

"You have to put off being young until you can retire."   UNKNOWN

"Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life."   KITTY  O'NEILL  COLLINS

"It's paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone."   ANDY  ROONEY

"People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday.  I tell them, a paternity suit."   GEORGE  BURNS

"The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you'll grow out of it."   DORIS  DAY

"How old would you be if you didn't know how old you was?"   SATCHEL  PAIGE

"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us.  At age 40, we don't care what they think of us.  At age 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all."   ANN  LANDERS

"Fear no more the heat o the sun, nor the furious winter's rages.  Thou thy worldly task hast done, home are gone and taken thy wages."   WILLIAM  SHAKESPEARE

"It is better to live rich than to die rich."   SAMUEL  JOHNSON

"You can be young without money but you can't be old without it."   TENNESSEE  WILLIAMS

"People forget how fast you did a job - but they remember how well you did it."   HOWARD  NEWTON

"The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off."   ABE  LEMONS

"Retirement is wonderful.  It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it."   GENE  PERRET

"No longer having to punch a time clock is my definition of retirement.  That way I could do what I want - when I want - anytime I want."   BROOKY  BROWN

"The money's no better in retirement but the hours are!"   UNKNOWN

"I'm now as free as the breeze - with roughly the same income."   UNKNOWN

"Forever, and forever, farewell, Cassius!  If we do meet again, why, we shall smile; If not, why then this parting was well made."   WILLIAM  SHAKESPEARE

"He who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement."   UNKNOWN

"People worry so much about aging, but you look younger if you don't worry about it."   JEANNE  MOREAU

"I'm very pleased to be here.  Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere."   GEORGE  BURNS

"There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love.  When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age."   SOPHIA  LOREN

"Before you speak, listen.  Before you write, think.  Before you spend, earn.  Before you invest, investigate.  Before you criticize, wait.  Before you pray, forgive.  Before you quit, try.  Before you retire, save.  Before you die, give."   WILLLIAM  A.  WARD

"Retirement, when every day is Saturday!"   UNKNOWN

"There's one thing I always wanted to do be I quit . . . retire!"   GROUCHO  MARX

"Musicians don't retire; they stop when there's no more music in them."   LOUIS  ARMSTRONG

"We've put more effort into helping folks reach old age than in helping them enjoy it."   FRANK  HOWARD  CLARK

"Retirement, a time to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, where you want to do it, and, how you want to do it."   CATHERINE  PULSIFER

"Retirement is the time when you never do all the things you intended to do when you were still working."   UNKNOWN 


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